Dash of Updates – Where I’ve been and where we’re going

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Over 6 months to be exact.

But what a 6 months it has been.

This past half year has been a wild ride filled with big, exciting life changes. Though all of them have been for the best, that’s not to say they didn’t come without challenges.

Two weeks ago marked the half anniversary of the biggest, most exciting life event: our wedding and the start of our marriage.

At times, it feels like we’ve gone through more in the last few months than we have in our 5+ years of being together. These challenges and happy times and stresses are what has created and solidified the foundation of our marriage, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Our perfect, classic, Chicago suburbs wedding
Photo by: Katherine Salvatori Photography

Winter is always a tough time for me. Living in the Midwest in its vast flatness and experiencing the extreme cold and snow doesn’t bring me the same joy as it might in other places where the snow intensifies the beauty of the outdoors. For me, it just means cold toes, horrible traffic, and darkness. I may have lived here my entire life, but it never gets easier.

Just yesterday, I was having a tough time. There were tears, and my husband just grabbed me and pulled me into a bear hug. I started to calm down, and we talked through what was upsetting me until we came up with a plan. He said, “You know, every time we go through a tough time like this and work it out together, it brings us closer and makes our marriage stronger.”

My heart overflowed with emotion, and I cried again (happy tears this time). I was so impressed by his insight, wisdom, and the truth of what he said.

Having him by my side made such a sad moment so bright. I believe that’s what our marriage, our partnership is all about – supporting each other through better and worse, sickness and health. When we work through difficult things together, it strengthens us as a couple.

There will probably be many, many more days like this. Tough days. Impossible days. Happy days. Average days.

Whatever they are, we will face them together.

Cheers to the second half of our first year of marriage. I can’t wait to see what it brings!

xoxo,
Maggie

Ps. Like I said above, winter is a really tough time for me. As soon as life finally calmed down in October, the onset of my slow-moving, unmotivated winter feelings began. I’ve had so many great ideas for posts over the last few months, but getting the energy and motivation to just do it has been tough.

Are there any posts you’d like to see first? Depending on your thoughts, I can prioritize accordingly and get this site up and running again. 🙂 Here are some ideas:

  • Wedding Recap
  • Honeymoon recap
  • Eating Your Way Through Europe… Gluten Free
  • Registry: Creating the best wedding registry
  • Wedding Registry: Love It or Leave It. What items have held up for 6 months and which have not
  • 4 Valentine’s Day Date Nights that aren’t going out to dinner

Let me know in the comments below! Thank you!

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Are You Ready?

“Are You Ready?”

That question has been asked so much of me in the last few weeks. The context, for those who might not know, is that I am getting married in a few weeks. Everyone is thoughtfully asking about my wedding preparations and if I’m “ready.”

The truth about it is that I flip flop between being shockingly calm with the wedding details (95% of the time) and other times spontaneously bursting into tears because there is so much to do in so little time.

I have to admit that I have been wrong. I apologize to every bridezilla that I have bashed behind her back that she turned a bit (or a lot) crazy while she planned her wedding. I have planned large-scale events before – both in college and at my job. What’s the difference between a big event and a wedding? Those girls just must be disorganized or overly emotional. Wedding planning would be a breeze for me.

Was planning those events challenging? Absolutely. But it turns out it pales in comparison to planning your own wedding.

Planning your wedding is different. It’s different because it’s extremely personal. And it’s my own.

Maybe I should rephrase. It’s not my own – it’s mine, my fiancé’s, and our event to share with our closest friends and family.

With planning an event for work or a group, I had a budget and a team to support me. Other than that, I was given the task, the desired outcome, and the instruction, “Just make it happen.” I worked through decisions by weighing cost-benefit and asking if it helped me achieve the goal/purpose of the event. It was a very objective process, even bordering sterile. I was passionate to be successful, as the outcome reflected on me professionally, but it was not something that “defined” me.

With the wedding, every decision, and even the details, is worked out as a team. My fiancé and I discuss. Sometimes we disagree. Disagreeing takes time to resolve and puts us behind. Sometimes I look at the to do list and think, “Why is this taking so long? I should be making more progress, but I feel like I’m spinning my wheels.”

Photo Credit: Katherine Salvatori Photography

There are reasons for that. First, is the good old dollar. Things really change when you’re dealing with your own money. Not that I was ever irresponsible with funds for events I’ve planned in the past, but you think about your spending very differently when the money is your own.

Second, every decision is emotionally charged. Instead of being objective and weighing cost-benefit like I’ve done before, I let my emotions steer me. It’s never efficient and almost always ends up clouding my thinking from seeing the clear, obvious solution to an issue.

So now I understand where the tears, anger, and frustration can emerge with bridezillas. It’s hard, and it’s an emotional time.

“But are you ready?”

I have a lot of the details planned. Is there more that has to be done? You bet. But that’s what the next few weeks are for. I’ll definitely take up all my incredible bridesmaids, friends, and family on their offers to help however they can. There is no sense in being a martyr and trying to do it all on my own.

I feel bad that it’s taken me this long to get to the actual point of this post, but I’ve reflected on the question “Are you ready?” a lot lately. I think it means a lot more than asking if I have the seating chart completed and my floral arrangements selected.

Am I ready to have this wedding?
Am I ready to move in with *gasp* a guy?
Am I ready to unconditionally commit myself to someone for the rest of my life?
Am I ready to marry this man?

It’s a lot to think about.

Photo credit: Katherine Salvatori Photography

I’ve been ready for a very long time. But the full truth is that some of it scares me. It’s a big commitment, and I certainly don’t take it lightly. The fear isn’t a fear of commitment. It’s a fear that I love this man so deeply, so truly, that I sometimes fear the unknowns and the what ifs that I don’t know I can handle. What if things go wrong?

Then it hits me. If things go wrong, which they definitely WILL, that’s why we have each other. That’s why we are committing to this union – because we are stronger as a team than we are as individuals. There is no one I’d rather fight the future with, for better or for worse, than my best friend, my partner, my soulmate, my husband.

I once heard a saying (repeated often by my mom) that “Worry is faith in reverse.” I am wasting my energy by worrying about unknowns and things out of my control. I have to have faith in those around me and trust in God that there is a plan.

Whatever life throws at us, we have each other. And I really have a strong feeling that we’ve “got this.”

“So, are you ready?”

Yes. Yes, I am.

Photo credit: Katherine Salvatori Photography
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